How to be a bad mother, in 3 easy lessons

Published on June 3, 2006 By Musical-Mayhem In Parenting

I'm a father of a 41/2 year daughter who I love more than life itself

But since Xmas my wife and myself have been fighting for my daughter as it turned out that while the little one was living at her Mum's (my ex and the biological egg donor

) had been abused both mentally and physically by her 11 year old half brother who has numorous emotional problems ADHD being only one of them and being a sick little f##k another.
I also suspect the mother as well but we all know how hard it is to prove allegations like that so I've said nothing on that one (except to my wife of course).

Anyway upon hearing of this from my daughter (bless her for having the courage to tell us), we involved the neccessary authorities and they took it very seriously indeed.
To the point where we now have her with us for 4 nights a week, to be reviewed again in August when she turns 5 (here in NZ kids start school at age 5)

Good for my daughter that she stays with us for 4 nights a week, mainly due to the councel for the child being on our side as well as the social worker dealing with our case.

Now as you can probably imagine in a custody case as this, there have been some really personal attacks and things got pretty emotional.
But I'm here to tell you that in spite of all the bloody horrible and hurtful things the bitch has said about us we have not once lowered ourselves down to her level, and haven't reponded at all. Choosing to stay silent instead.
Which is why I suspect that we got as far as we have in such a short space of time.

And most importantly, we've kept our focus on the little one and not making this about her bitch of a mother.
Not that this has been easy at all, keeping silent and not responding in kind when someone is making personal attacks at you is bloody hard I can tell you.
And the emotional toll has been huge, to the point where I had a mental breakdown and am now on anti-depression meds and have lost heaps of weight.
Something I really can't afford as I'm skinny enough.

As for the bitch of a mother, I hope she rots in hell.

This how selfish she is:
We live in a small town a 90 minute drive from the city where her mother lives and she is so selfish that she won't even get in her car to pick her daughter up but gets her mother to do it for her pleading poverty or some other lame excuse.
We're talking about someone who runs to mummy for every little thing I kid you not.
And as to pleading poverty,give me a break!
She gets more on the benefit that I do working a full week.
We drive 300 kilometres every week for my daughter.
I pick her up on a Thursday (260 kms there and back) and my wife takes her back on Monday, and the ONLY concession we have been able to win is that the mother meets my wife halfway. So she only has to drive 45 mins there and 45 mins back instead of 90 mins there and back which is what I have to do every Thursday after I finish work.
But get this. She won't even use her own car to pick our daughter up but comes with her bloody mother so the bitch isn't even out of pocket (unlike us)
And with petrol prices being so high.....

Where's the fairness I ask??
And to top it all off she doesn't think she's doing anything wrong and thinks we're doing this to get at her.
Too stupid to realise that it's not about her at all but about our daughter and her f**ked half brother (who wouldn't even BE f**ked up if he'd been allowed to live with HIS Dad and stepmum)

So to finish this rant (needed to vent sorry).
We have a really strong case according to our lawyer and social worker.
Plus having Council for The Child on our side is very reasuring and strengthens our case.
Plus the fact that EVERYTHING we said happened and what her mother would say has been proven to be true.

The effect all this has been having on my daughter has been incalculable to be honest.
We've noticed a lot of behaviour changes and wet beds are pretty regular still (no big deal really)
But through all of this we have remained consistant and will continue to do so.

To finish, I couldn't of gone through all this without the support of my wife and stepdaughters who have accepted my daughter as their own.
My wife is SUCH a good Mum and my daughter worships her and she's the one my daughter confides in.

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